HEY... AM BACK and AM SAD!!!

It has been so long,that i even feel guilty for leaving you, how rude of me. My most sincere apology. Talk of being uneventful and every other boring thing you can think of, it should explain all that silence. Truth is my life hasn't been that bad but it has definitely been very very hard, I couldn't stress that more. School is getting more and more complicated that I had to put a lot of things on hold but during that time I have come to learn a lot. Rule no. 1 Never put all other things on hold for just one. Yes, everything has its priorities but make sure you get time to do everything. Sunrise may take the shortest time in a day but it is the bringing forth of a whole new 12 hours of the day,which leads to the happening of many great things...not that I am underestimating the night if you know what I mean. If you are like me, You would know it is very beautiful and worth sacrificing the better part of your sleep to watch it. My story is that I put a lot of things on hold just for one true love,only to be disappointed in the end.A guru once said "do not love something so much that its failure will lead to your down fall". Sadly I did not listen and like many of my young counterparts, experience is the best teacher.what happened to wisdom and learning from others experiences, i always sit to ask myself. Yes, I feel in love.. the fire burned wild and free and I knew it was forever. They say it only happens once in a life time so... it had to last a very long time. We met at a very early age but never really paid attention. Always been with me to show me the good and bad in life, removing my innocence,teasing my curiosity,caressing the adventures and ensuring that for every experience there was a tale. He caught my eye recently and deep inside i felt a fire burning for him and with a look in his eyes or a touch by his fingers i could not help but hold my breathe and my heart would race. They say the eyes are the window to someone's soul and that soul is all I wanted, even with the darkness,temptation,freedom and the lust, I wanted him bad. What could he want from a girl like me, sometimes i would sit and ask myself, maybe it was the innocence, the challenge and the peculiarity that came with being with me. It was nothing he had ever known or would ever know and Curiosity may all he was out to quench. And just like for every other high there is a low and the expected happened, he BROKE my heart. He said he loved me and i believed him, said he was different and i believed him but the biggest was saying he would never hurt me nor leave me and i the foolish little girl believed him. Every one warned me,saying you love him too much, you trust him too much, you adore him too much to the point of saying I idolized him. I acted all defensive and shunned them to the point of solitude even though i knew deep down somewhere in my heart I knew they were saying the truth. I did not want to face it and now its hard to face them. Matters of the heart are very complicated and no one should dare try to come in between. With the beginning of any big fire there is a spark and he had known where to ignite it in me, and little did I know that for every fire there must be a point of burning out. The end had finally come and I hadn't realized it. The Bible says that Jesus shall come like a thief in the night,catching everyone by surprise and that is how i was caught, 'like a thief in the night'. I was so shocked when he started telling me that its not working out between us, we drifting a part, he wants to set me free, i deserve better. In my head questions flowed in the same sequence only that i was saying the exact opposite "what? Your are breaking up with me?" "hallo! things are not working, am in 'cloud Lillie' which is way above 'cloud nine'" "You want to set me free? from what?" "Shouldn't i know what i deserve, yes its the best and YES it is most definitely you" I couldn't believe it, it cant be happening to me. I cant say a word, I cant hear what he is saying, i cant see him anymore and now am in this utopia, all this is a bad dream and am home in bed, dreaming, tomorrow is yet to come. Suddenly I head his voice calling out to me and the utopia is gone and it dawns on me that it isn't a dream but a reality of what has just happened. I cant talk, this can not be happening, NOT NOW, NOT EVER,IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOREVER and only the tears running down my face can sincerely explain what I feel within...