HOME?? AWAY FROM HOME??

Its been an interesting one month. I left my home town for another town, a very new place with no relatives. Only people I knew were a few school mates who came to the place. Who does that, better yet which parent allows that? My parents must have been crazy, people may think but for me its a moment of bliss as my parents are courageous enough to let me go. I had a different outlook before I embarked on my journey. I thought it would be fun fun fun and more fun. I was right! I have always had a liking for adventure, as long as i have a place to sleep and money i can wake up, pack my bags and leave have the least care in the world. Apart from that I have grown and become a mature young lady who makes her own decisions and I loved it. I chose what to wear, eat, what time to arrive home, and weirdly i have been so responsible, very proud of myself. I thought i would starve myself as i would be too lazy to cook, but thats not the case, i get home in the evening, take a shower and prepare myself a scrumptious meal and I am the best host for my visitors as i leave them satisfied. I enjoy being in my own place, n oh I have a roommate. Being with one has made me know why next time am going to get my OWN place. I left home in such a hurry on the 9th of June as i was late, i tend to that a lot. Juggling all my wants at once. Its my little secret why i was late. When I got to the bus stop it was 11, my journey was to be 5 hours. I was stuck in traffic for an hour but after that it was a smooth, fast ride. Arrived at 5 p.m in a new town, new people, new everything. One thing i must have bypassed is that it was a cold town. The first week was so cold and the second but after that yeeii summertime with a cool breeze.

When i left I had my life all planed out and it was amazing... The first week i was to visit Kericho unfortunately it bounced and so plan B was on, dancing with the girls at club 411 and it was a wonderful night. Second week I left for a sleep over from Thursday to Sunday, it was a drunk weekend. The highlight was that we were featured on the prime time news. Luckily only those who had seen us that day were able to spot us, a narrow escape. For the first time I drank wine and got drunk. The third week I left for Kisumu City. I had never been there and when an opportunity strikes make very good use of it, which i did. I went to see a friend who in fact was a very good host. I didn't want to come back. I spent the whole weekend there and on my last day i got a chance to go and view the one and only Lake Victoria. I also long lost friends who I was with in high school. Fourth week, I went to Naxvegas to have the 'whats happens in Vegas stays in Vegas experience'. Our journey started out at 7 p.m and ended at 10 p.m. Our host well let me leave that for later. We went to Rafiki's ask around its the JOINT. Thirty minutes had not passed when old man started hitting on me, eeew, but that was part of the experience. When our hosts arrived they were 'frozen',a common phrase to Kenyans', and it being a new place and their house being where we would spend for the weekend then we had to leave. It was so unfair, we told ourselves. When we left it had to take a 'tuk tuk' from town to a very far place. It was a very bumpy ride. When we got there we knew it would be a very long weekend, talk of HOSTS FROM HELL. That was my experience,saying it as it was. Looking back, that was the worst weekend ever. The people we relied on were lame. Thinking of it now, maybe, for the great moments to really count there must be bad moments too. Fifth week I was home alone and the thieves were on alert. They raided our place but fortunately not my house but the neighbors'. I was so afraid that I did not even get out my bed to try and see if it was my house. Soon after I was dead asleep only to wake at 7;30 am. The ordeal was over and thats when it came to me that, 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'. Another memorable week it was in my new home. Now thats my splendid 5 weeks. xoxo

love this song. my theme

our own Kalyke

ADDICTED and DROWNING

All my life I have always rejoiced and been proud of a lot of the things i have been able to achieve. Though i haven't received a Nobel Price yet I have achieved things in my own capacity. It has come to a point where I no longer have control on some of the things and I think am losing it. Maybe i need help but am I ready too accept? Mum is telling me to do something about it, dad too and my brother. They are my family and their opinion matters. I am also thinking on the same lines but i am afraid. I want to be healthier, slimmer but truth be told I have never known another silhouette and it terrifies me. How can i stop my undying love for cakes,chocolates, biscuits and all other sweet unhealthy things you can think of? The damn cravings i have and which i can not resist. The sad part is that when am sad I go to the shop and buy all the sweet things and eat all i can. I feel better for a moment but afterwards it aces inside. I can not help it, i have tried until I came to a place of acceptance that it was part of me.I don't want to die young due to all the diseases out there. I want to be better but there are Questions that run through my mind: how will i look? my best clothes will no longer fit!? will I be able to keep it up or will I be an atomic bomb ready to explode? So many questions, so many uncertainties. They always say the first step is denial then acceptance. My denial has taken me six years and i think its time I accept and make the right changes in my life. Don't get me wrong I don't want to be a size 8, all i want is to be a healthier me. I CANNOT DO IT ALONE ; I NEED HELP!!!

HEY... AM BACK and AM SAD!!!

It has been so long,that i even feel guilty for leaving you, how rude of me. My most sincere apology. Talk of being uneventful and every other boring thing you can think of, it should explain all that silence. Truth is my life hasn't been that bad but it has definitely been very very hard, I couldn't stress that more. School is getting more and more complicated that I had to put a lot of things on hold but during that time I have come to learn a lot. Rule no. 1 Never put all other things on hold for just one. Yes, everything has its priorities but make sure you get time to do everything. Sunrise may take the shortest time in a day but it is the bringing forth of a whole new 12 hours of the day,which leads to the happening of many great things...not that I am underestimating the night if you know what I mean. If you are like me, You would know it is very beautiful and worth sacrificing the better part of your sleep to watch it. My story is that I put a lot of things on hold just for one true love,only to be disappointed in the end.A guru once said "do not love something so much that its failure will lead to your down fall". Sadly I did not listen and like many of my young counterparts, experience is the best teacher.what happened to wisdom and learning from others experiences, i always sit to ask myself. Yes, I feel in love.. the fire burned wild and free and I knew it was forever. They say it only happens once in a life time so... it had to last a very long time. We met at a very early age but never really paid attention. Always been with me to show me the good and bad in life, removing my innocence,teasing my curiosity,caressing the adventures and ensuring that for every experience there was a tale. He caught my eye recently and deep inside i felt a fire burning for him and with a look in his eyes or a touch by his fingers i could not help but hold my breathe and my heart would race. They say the eyes are the window to someone's soul and that soul is all I wanted, even with the darkness,temptation,freedom and the lust, I wanted him bad. What could he want from a girl like me, sometimes i would sit and ask myself, maybe it was the innocence, the challenge and the peculiarity that came with being with me. It was nothing he had ever known or would ever know and Curiosity may all he was out to quench. And just like for every other high there is a low and the expected happened, he BROKE my heart. He said he loved me and i believed him, said he was different and i believed him but the biggest was saying he would never hurt me nor leave me and i the foolish little girl believed him. Every one warned me,saying you love him too much, you trust him too much, you adore him too much to the point of saying I idolized him. I acted all defensive and shunned them to the point of solitude even though i knew deep down somewhere in my heart I knew they were saying the truth. I did not want to face it and now its hard to face them. Matters of the heart are very complicated and no one should dare try to come in between. With the beginning of any big fire there is a spark and he had known where to ignite it in me, and little did I know that for every fire there must be a point of burning out. The end had finally come and I hadn't realized it. The Bible says that Jesus shall come like a thief in the night,catching everyone by surprise and that is how i was caught, 'like a thief in the night'. I was so shocked when he started telling me that its not working out between us, we drifting a part, he wants to set me free, i deserve better. In my head questions flowed in the same sequence only that i was saying the exact opposite "what? Your are breaking up with me?" "hallo! things are not working, am in 'cloud Lillie' which is way above 'cloud nine'" "You want to set me free? from what?" "Shouldn't i know what i deserve, yes its the best and YES it is most definitely you" I couldn't believe it, it cant be happening to me. I cant say a word, I cant hear what he is saying, i cant see him anymore and now am in this utopia, all this is a bad dream and am home in bed, dreaming, tomorrow is yet to come. Suddenly I head his voice calling out to me and the utopia is gone and it dawns on me that it isn't a dream but a reality of what has just happened. I cant talk, this can not be happening, NOT NOW, NOT EVER,IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOREVER and only the tears running down my face can sincerely explain what I feel within...

Listening to 90s local hits -Sinzia - Nameless

HAPPY NEW YEAR.....

Is it late to be wishing people Happy new Year? I bet not considering its just three weeks old. this comes as surprise to you all as I had gone all missing in action during the holidays and by God's grace am not dead or ailing from any illness. My holidays have been fabulous and truth is i did not want them to end. I jumped my year well, had loads of fun with Faith and my brother and also with the many strangers there at Nyayo Stadium for the groove awards... Am back to school and a lot is on my mind first exams are around the corner. I am trying to read hard this last week one quote i have learned in school and have come to appreciate is "last minute saves a man". It sure does work. Second I am trying to squeeze writing into my schedule. Thirdly, of late been having boy trouble, and what's helping me cope is exams. Very weird you may think, i also think it is too cos i never thought even in my wildest imagination that exams could be a life saver. HAPPY NEW YEAR AND PROSPEROUS ONE TOO WITH LOTS OF WONDERFUL TALES XOXO